🔥 Crybaby Caleb

🚑 Caleb Williams headlined a week of QB injuries (some more serious than others). The Bears quarterback had a week from hell. Williams was carted off the field on Sunday after sustaining what looked like a brutal non-contact injury, only for the team doctors to determine it was a Grade 1 hamstring strain (the kind of injury you get legging out a double in beer league softball). You just can’t be a professional football player and roll on the ground screaming like this from a pulled hammy. 

• The internet quickly shifted from “Pray for Caleb” to mocking him for crying on the medical cart with his fist in the air like he was Kobe post-Achilles tear. There were a lot of honourable mentions, but this meme took home top honours.

The next quarterback to drop was Jayden Daniels, who snapped his left elbow out of its socket for the third time (this should come as no surprise if you’ve seen the size of his arms). This is a gruesome one, but here it is is if you’re into that sort of thing. The worst part was that none of his Commanders teammates stayed on the field to check on him. Not a great look. 

Last but not least, Jaxon Dart. The Giants QB suffered a season-ending knee injury on Sunday Night Football (RIP to my fantasy team). Having seen the entire country turn on Caleb Williams for taking the medical cart, he walked to the locker room on his own two feet and even tried to come back into the game. It begs the question: Would you rather your franchise QB be a cringey cry baby (who’s only out for 2-4 weeks) or a complete nail gun (who can’t touch the football field for a year)? It’s a tough call. 

• We did get to Cam Skattebo malfunction on the sideline without Dart there to calm him down. This could also very well be early-onset CTE.

➡️ The silver lining of the Dart injury: We get 15 weeks of Jameis Winston. He didn’t look particularly sharp on Sunday (not surprising after spending the offseason as a FIFA World Cup TV host), but I’m sure he’ll get in playing shape after a few more snaps. It’s hard to imagine the high IQ conversations taking place with Jameis and Skattebo in the same huddle. 

⚾️ PCA notched his 40/40 season. The Cubs star nabbed his 40th steal of the year yesterday, putting an exclamation point on a mic-drop MVP season. Pretty wild to have the best defensive player in baseball go 40/40 with a .950 OPS. The new face of baseball (so much better than that other guy who got his interpreter thrown in jail). 

⚽️ We could get another soccer player-turned NFL kicker. England soccer star Harry Kane says that he’s eyeing a stint in the MLS later in his career so that he can become an NFL kicker during the offseason. He’s about to sign a new contract with his current team, Bayern Munich, so it may be a while until we see Kane trying out for an NFL team. It’s a cool idea, but if we’re being honest, Kane is far too athletic to be a kicker. 

💰 The legend of Daejon Love just keeps on growing. The FBI has identified 35 more women who sent money to the fake 49ers wide receiver Daejon Love, bringing the grand total of victims to 61. The best part of this whole story is that the alleged brains behind the whole operation, which somehow netted $1.3 million, was an 18-year-old kid posing as Love’s financial advisor. This guy must have been an absolute savant in the Tinder DMs.

🏒 The NHL is now handing out penalties for tucked jerseys. Trevor Zegras was not happy when he got sent to the penalty box for a (probably accidental) wardrobe choice in the Flyers pre-season game. The new jersey tuck rule is apparently for safety reasons, which seems kind of rich coming from a league that lets its players knock each other's teeth out on live TV. 

👁️ Alex Bregman nearly lost an eye on the baseball field. This week's edition has randomly become very injury-heavy, but this one was wild. Bregman, who has always stood way too close to the batter when he’s on-deck, got nailed in the eye with a foul ball. He ended up with multiple fractures in his face and a black eye that was swollen completely shut. I’m honestly surprised you can’t see the seams of the baseball printed on his face.  

🏆 We might already have the catch of the year, courtesy of Jamar Chase. The route, the hands, the toe drag by the pylon. Number 1 is a magician. 

Alright, that’s enough for one Friday.

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