šŸ”„ Gambling Guardians

MLB pitchers face 65 years in jail, DangerRuss starts his Cameo biz.

Happy Friday. Chiefs tight end and former reality dating show star Travis Kelce has reportedly spent over $1.2 million on private jets to see Taylor Swift while she was on tour. He spent over $340,000 to charter a flight from LA to Australia and an absurd $570,000 for a flight from Cleveland to Singapore (clearly not a common route in Ohio). We know he’s got money, but at this pace, he’s gonna be broke before the Super Bowl. 

No wonder he proposed to Taylor this summer. He needs a cut of that Eras Tour money just to break even on his post-game airfare.

In today’s letter: 

  • $50 Pick Em Game

  • Guardians get booked for betting ring

  • A.J. Brown’s Fantasy Football advice

  • HotTakes Parlay of the Week

In case you’re new here, we’re putting five $50 gift cards up for grabs for anyone who can correctly pick the winners of five Sunday NFL games.

Don’t hoard all the fun, send the link around to the homies.

āš¾ļø MLB players are facing 65 years in jail for rigging games. Cleveland Guardians pitchers Emmanuel Clase and Luis Ortiz were indicted this week for allegedly throwing certain pitches for balls to benefit sports bettors. The craziest part of this whole story is that Clase — who was slated to make, at the very least, $38 million in his career — only got $12,000 from doing this. Former players are speculating that there might be a mafia angle in play

  • Both pitchers denied the charges, with friends of Clase saying that the FBI wire taps were actually the result of a rooster fighting investigation in the Dominican Republic. Maybe he also did that?

  • Given how this all shook out for Shohei Ohtani, I've got serious concerns about the fate of the Guardians’ interpreter. 

šŸŽ„ For just $333, you can have Russell Wilson make a Cameo video for you. First of all, this is loser behaviour for a guy that’s made $315 million over the course of his career. On the other side, this could be a golden opportunity for your Fantasy Football league to get Russ to make a cheeky video for the loser. 

šŸ€ The guy who traded Luka Doncic somehow just got fired. Nine months after trading one of the faces of the NBA for being too chubby, Nico Harrison got let go by the Dallas Mavericks. Funny enough, he got axed the night after the Dallas arena broke out into a ā€œFire Nicoā€ chant

  • That’s a pretty wild precedent to set for sports fans. I might just have to go to a Saints game and start a ā€œwe want Josh Allenā€ chant. You never know. 

šŸ’ Connor McDavid single-handedly won a game for the Oilers. The Edmonton captain scored twice in the 3rd period (basically without passing the puck) to propel the Oilers to a much needed overtime win. The first goal will remind you that this is one of the most freakish athletes we’ll ever get the chance to watch. 

ā›³ļø Every MLB team is sending their best golfers to play in a tournament. Each franchise picked one current and one former player to represent them in the event. The roster looks pretty solid. This is a big opportunity for teams like the Pirates to give their fanbase a championship that they’re never gonna get on the baseball field. 

āœ‚ļø Brian Daboll gets snipped by the Giants. After blowing another fourth quarter lead this week, the Giants cut their head coach loose (which might’ve had something to do with his super weird crush on QB Jaxon Dart). Giants wide receiver Malik Nabers posted one of the most hilarious responses to the news. 

  • The good news out of Giants camp? We get to see Jameis Winston start this week. The world is a better place when Jameis is chucking footballs and eating W’s. 

šŸ‘Ž A.J. Brown had some advice for your fantasy team. The Eagles wide receiver told everyone to drop him if they have him on their team. You’ve gotta love that kind of confidence out of your star receiver. 

Shoutout to @greed (love the username) for hitting our biggest parlay of the week. Six-legs, 45x winnings, not bad for a Tuesday night NBA slate. I guess greed is good. 

Its immaculate grid o’clock: Choose your own adventure.

How to Play Immaculate Grid Football

Select a player for each cell that matches the criteria for that cell’s row and column.You have nine guesses to fill out the grid.

šŸˆ NFL Grid | āš¾ļø MLB Grid | šŸ’ NHL Grid | šŸ€ NBA Grid

Alright, that’s enough yelling for one Friday.

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