Nose-to-Nose

Happy Friday. Out of all the MLB trade deadline chaos from the past week, the funniest moment came in the middle of a Blue Jays-Orioles doubleheader. A couple of hours after getting pumped 16-4, the Jays decided to pull the trigger on a trade for Baltimore reliever Seranthony Domínguez. 

Dominguez had to pack his things and walk across to the Jays’ clubhouse right before Game 2 started — they printed his jersey so fast, one of the numbers was upside down. Naturally, Toronto threw him in to pitch in a tie game against the guys who, four hours earlier, were his teammates. 

Nothing says 'fresh start' like trying to strike out the guys you had lunch with a few hours ago. 

In today’s letter:

  • Bryce Harper goes nose-to-nose with baseball’s commissioner 

  • Nikola Jokic finally won something he cares about

  • Why you don’t want to bet on Brent Rooker

  • Hot Takes parlay of the week

Emmanuel Clase doesn’t get traded at the deadline… he gets booked for gambling. The Guardians All-Star closer has been suspended for the next month while he’s being investigated for potentially betting on games. Funny enough, his teammate Luis Ortiz is being investigated for the same thing. We guess we know Cleveland’s pitching staff kills their time

Nikola Jokic really doesn’t care about anything but his horses. The Nuggets star was brought to tears after his prized steed won a race in Serbia, a reaction that is 10 times funnier when you compare it to his celebration after winning the NBA championship. 

The Orioles threw it back to the pandemic season by playing in an empty stadium. Even for a last place team, this is tough to see. Good news: Tickets are $7 if you feel like experiencing this electric atmosphere in person.

Shohei Ohtani’s betting saga is getting its own TV show. A series about Ohtani and his degenerate interpreter Ippei Mizuhara is reportedly in the works. Mizuhara — who was exposed for being possibly the worst gambler of all time — stole nearly $17 million from Ohtani to cover his debts.

Bryce Harper tells MLB’s commissioner to f*** off. Harper — who most people don’t know is actually a Mormon — told Rob Manfred to “get the fuck out of our clubhouse” if he wanted to talk about a salary cap. Max Scherzer caught wind and said he couldn’t wait for his turn to yell at the commissioner. 

Scottie Scheffeler says he’d trade one of his majors for a Cowboys Super Bowl win. He not-so-jokingly said he’s experienced more disappointment cheering for Dallas than he has in his golf career. 

The Blue Jays simply refuse to strike out. The Jays have a team strikeout rate of just 17.4%. That’s not only the best in the league this season (by a lot) it’s the lowest whiff rate since the 2017 Houston Astros — who had the slight advantage of knowing what pitch was coming

Brent Rooker has busted more parlays than any other player. Consider this your warning not to take the A’s slugger today. Out of 16 million parlays that have missed by one leg this year, no player was involved in more of them than Brent Rooker.

AJ Preller has been given one directive as the head honcho of the Padres: Do whatever you need to win a World Series. 

He hasn’t managed to bring that ring to San Diego, but he has traded away some of baseball’s best talent trying to make it happen. 

As part of a flurry of deals, Preller dealt MLB’s 3rd ranked prospect, shortstop Leo De Vries, to acquire flamethrower closer Mason Miller from the A’s — adding to the long list of top prospects he’s parted ways with to try and make a deep postseason run. 

Here’s the list of prospects Preller has traded over the last ten seasons:


Trea Turner — World Series champ, 2× All-Star, Silver Slugger, one of the game’s top shortstops.

Max Fried — Another World Series champ, All-Star and ace of the New York Yankees.

James Wood — All-Star first baseman and one of the best power hitters in baseball.

CJ Abrams — All-Star shortstop and leadoff hitter (has a bit of a casino problem though)

MacKenzie Gore — All-Star lefty who’s become one the games best pitchers.

Josh Naylor – All-Star first baseman, known for his wild home run celebrations.

Andrés Muñoz — One of baseball's best closers.

Luis Castillo — Three time All-Star and ace of the Seattle Mariners.

David Bednar — 2× All-Star closer.

Emmanuel Clase — One of the best closers in baseball (also might have a bit of a betting problem)

Hunter Renfroe — Power-hitting outfielder. Not a stud but has had a great 10-year career.

Zach Eflin — Same boat. A very respectable decade of work. 

Bottom line: Preller’s definitely not lacking balls, but until San Diego actually wins something, his track record is going to be littered with the stars that could’ve been wearing Padres uniforms — and maybe helping them win the World Series.

@Johnfloreztx had the biggest hit of the week, with an absurd 184x MLB parlay. We almost never see anyone take all unders on player props, but we respect it. Praying on Bryce Harper’s downfall can win you a lot of money. 

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🎞️ On this day in 1994, Baltimore shortstop Cal Ripken Jr. became only the second player after Lou Gehrig to appear in 2,000 consecutive games. Ripken went on to break Gehrig’s record, appearing in 2,632 straight games and earning himself the nickname “Iron Man”. 

In the era of load management and players going on the IL with sore thumbs, we’re pretty confident this record will never be broken.

Its immaculate grid o’clock: Choose your own adventure.

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Alright, that’s enough yelling for one Friday.

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