šŸ”„ Thiccer Kicker

Travis Kelce fumbles Six Flags, Baseball is hot in the streets

Happy Friday. In case you didn’t hear, Tom Brady revealed this week that his new puppy Junie is a direct clone of his old dog Lua. A biotech company called Colossal Biosciences — which Brady is an investor in — used a blood sample from Lua right before she died to genetically recreate her as Junie.

As if this wasn’t creepy enough on its own, this biotech company is currently using that same process to try and bring the Woolly Mammoth back from extinction. 

Let’s just hope someone puts a stop to this before Brady gets in his feelings and decides to clone Gisele.

In today’s letter: 

  • We’re giving away more $50 gift cards

  • NFL trade deadline mayhem

  • Kelce can’t save Six Flags

  • HotTakes Parlay of the Week

Welcome back to the weekly pick 'em game.

In case you’re new here, we’re putting five $50 gift cards up for grabs for anyone who can correctly pick the winners of five Sunday NFL games.

Don’t hoard all the fun, send the link around to the homies. 

šŸˆ The Jets sold the house at the NFL trade deadline. The New York Jets were in full yard sale mode, trading away two of their best players in cornerback Sauce Gardner (all time football name) and defensive tackle Quinnen Williams. Running back Breece Hall somehow wasn’t traded, and he let everyone know he was pretty bummed about that. That must’ve felt like watching your two cell mates escape prison without you. 

  • The best quote of deadline day came from Patriots head coach Mike Vrabel, who was asked how close the team was to pulling off some trades: ā€œDeals are like being pregnant. You either are or you aren't. ... I don't know how close you could be."

āš¾ļø Baseball has officially become more popular than basketball. This isn’t even a hot take. The combined World Series game seven viewership this year was 51 million people between Canada, the U.S. and Japan. The NBA Finals last year, which also went to a game seven, averaged just 16.4 million viewers. Don't let anyone tell you baseball is dead (at least, until they go on strike next year).  

🦵 The Rams just signed a kicker that looks like he could play O-line. New L.A. kicker Harrison Mevis, nicknamed ā€œThe Thiccer Kickerā€, clocks in at an absurd 6 '0", 242 lbs. To be fair, if a kick return goes the other way, I wouldn’t mind having this guy be the last line of defence. 

šŸ€ A Ja Morant trade is starting to feel inevitable. The Memphis star is apparently being shopped around the league, with the relationship looking like it’s on thin ice. We wonder if it had anything to do with his suspension for posting a video of him holding a gun, or the other suspension three months later for posting another video with a gun. Hard to tell, really. 

šŸ‘“ Compton College is about to rebrand to Unc U. The JUCO’s football team has a 45-year-old playing wide receiver (he also happens to be running for mayor), and a 50-year-old linebacker starting on their defence. Would it shock you to hear the team ended their season 0-10, with a losing margin of 480-12?

🚩 Travis Kelce didn’t just lose to the Bills on Sunday, he also lost Six Flags. Kelce, who is part of the amusement park’s ownership group, has been vocal about his mission to save the struggling Six Flags, saying just last month: ā€˜I could not pass this opportunity up, man.’ Well, fast forward to this week, Six Flags is officially shutting down. For a guy that is still 11-years-old at heart, this loss could actually break Kelce. 

šŸ’ The St. Louis Blues goalie tried to steal the puck from Alex Ovechkin’s 900th goal. Honestly, I can't blame Jordan Binnington at all. You just got scored on, you’re now the answer to a trivia question, and you don’t get paid nearly enough to leave record-breaking memorabilia in the back of the net. 

šŸ“ŗ Drew Brees is taking Mark Sanchez’s job at FOX. The network has signed the hall-of-famer to be their newest analyst, likely replacing former Jets QB and certified lunatic Mark Sanchez. There’s really no job security in this business, especially when you (allegedly) attack a 69-year-old delivery driver unprovoked. What a soulless industry.

Shoutout to @Chicha98 for hitting this absolute monster on Wednesday night. Nine legs, 70x return, and ALL Overs. Max Christie’s over at 11.5? Of course he bags 12. Tip of the cap. 

Thouhgts on the lay?

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Its immaculate grid o’clock: Choose your own adventure.

How to Play Immaculate Grid Football

Select a player for each cell that matches the criteria for that cell’s row and column.You have nine guesses to fill out the grid.

šŸˆ NFL Grid | āš¾ļø MLB Grid | šŸ’ NHL Grid | šŸ€ NBA Grid

Alright, that’s enough yelling for one Friday.

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